Earlier this week I took my focus off His promise to sustain
me as He reminds us in Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not
be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will
uphold you with my righteous right hand.” All I saw in that time of weakness was my own situation,
albeit I was worn, exhausted and in the first threads of depression. I was
ready to permanently walk away from most of the blessings He provided me,
including fellowship. In fear and with lack of trust, I stated, “I am leaving.”
Yet, Jesus responded that same night. He knocked at my
heart’s door – from the inside – and spoke clearly with a great gentle
peace-filled love. He said, “I am still here. I will never leave you. Don’t lose
the seeds of hope and faith I planted in you, my child. Cherish both as both
are bridges to my heart. Embrace that which I have given you. Embrace it in
faith. I will be with you.” This peace followed me through the waking hours.
All of a sudden, my eyes were open to an amazing truth. What
have I to fear or to worry about when He is with me? He in me and I in Him. This
is unity. This is our source of strength that bears our burdens. Jesus allowed
me to see the world around me through His eyes. I saw multitudes of people,
both young and old beyond my own little world of me. I saw the heart of those seeking
but not yet knowing something far greater than they could ever imagine – the
hope only found in Him. We may see poverty, hunger, illness, desolation,
homelessness and death. But Jesus - He sees hope revealed. He sees life. He
sees His own Spirit. Again He reminded me that some don’t yet know this hope. He
impressed in my heart, “I have called you, my child, to go and make disciples
by being one. But you can’t do this alone. You know I am here with you always,
but I have also given you one another. This is what it means to be part of my
family. Love one another. But you have to want to be a part of this if you desire
to share in my Glory.”
I had no adequate words but praise to only begin to imagine
what He has spoken to my heart. Praise alone – all else in my spirit was silent…
Even into today, my heart is changing and grabbing hold of
these beautiful waves of truth that continues to call me deeper unto Him. No
words yet to adequately express it. This is my reality.
Yet, in the midst of God calling me forward, I have been
relieved of my duties and assignments and my leadership position in the household
of faith. This is also my reality. I learned the consequences of my words
spoken in haste. And I receive that decision respectfully and with peace in my
heart. Leadership has its standards. Accountability. Trustworthiness. Consistency.
Responsibility. Maturity. I can’t say that I learned all this too late before I
spoke. He opened my eyes to what I needed to learn at exactly the right moment.
What I do with knowing this from this moment forward is what matters most. Follow
His lead.
This day I am yet at a pivotal place – Where is He leading
me? Where do I go from here? These questions no longer burden me but assure me
that God is not finished with me yet. He has a plan for my future, and I am
stepping toward it in every moment of now with Him leading me forward. Patience,
trust, commitment and I will add … obedience. Oh yes, what an
incredible week this has been. All glory to God! <3
Blessings dear one!
Bonny.
Dear Bonny I pray that in this time you are lead to a very quiet place so just you and God can sit side by side and you can rest in His arms as He whispers gently into your open ears His plan and purpose for you. Let Him speak into your life and as you listen I pray that you are reassured of His love and His forgiveness and His security of purpose. Thank you for your vulnerable posting. I love your style. I have found that I am posting all of my "indiscretions, hurts, woes, joys, etc and when I am brutally honest the healing and comfort I feel afterwards is more than any therapist or counselor could ever give me. Our Counselor is the one we should always go to He is the Wisdom we seek in everything. God bless you.
ReplyDelete