As a single mom raising two teenage daughters, I understand the complexities and challenges of the road traveled.
I understand see-sawing emotions, heartache, pain and the loneliness of dealing with memories of a bittersweet past mixed with abuse, neglect, rejection and yes, self-condemnation.
YET! I understand what it means to experience tears of thanksgiving, incredible joy and the humility of being freed from chains of the past. I understand the feelings that come with forgiving and being forgiven, being healed, restored and transformed from the inside-out into a new life, knowing with absolute assurance I am loved. I am valuable. I am precious to an amazing, awesome and wonderful God. When I finally realized and accepted that truth, my life has never been the same.
BUT! Was my life suddenly free of challenges? Was it moving forward perfectly without flaw? Did I possess super-human / super-Christian powers and abilities? No! No one is exempt. No one is perfect. We all have bad days. We all are challenged by common issues, such as keeping and maintaining basic necessities in our lives: home, food, clothing, health, finances, relationships, faith… But, there are also challenges specific to each one of us. Mine was the challenge of embracing change and to not be consumed and controlled by all the challenges, including emotions and negative thinking.
NEVERTHELESS! The new Christian journey I was stepping into was exciting. I had new goals, new vision, a brand new mindset – I was alive! My zeal was rising. I grabbed onto every opportunity to serve, yet there seemed always to be more of that unknown something I was missing. My heart was tugging at me. Was it toward a specific Ministry? Was it THE Ministry? What was I seeking? What was seeking me? What did I have to offer God anyway? What gifts? What talents? Would I know how to nurture what God put in me? Would I know how to maintain it? How to present it? I had no clue where or how to begin to unravel the quandary of circled thinking. It was all just surface thinking without praying through it and DOING something about it. Before I realized, I was STUCK and deeply.
Because my focus was only on the bigger goals of my own journey, many other areas of my daily life began to suffer for lack of attention: my daughters, my home, my health ... It was beginning to seep into others' lives around me like bitter poison. Eventually, it jeopardized and severed precious relationships in my life. Deeply and inexpressibly painful. My life became unbalanced and unhealthy, and my desire to move forward in life itself was spiraling out of control and quickly.
All of a Sudden! I found myself searching, once again, for truth. Through the voices of family, friends, my Life coach and God’s Word, it all was beginning to make sense. I was so focused on being “more” of who I was seeking to be that I missed out on simply being and growing into exactly who He created me to be. I was trying to fit God’s plan into mine instead of mine into His. Talk about pride! No puzzle pieces fit perfectly in another’s spot. There’s one place for each in the big picture, right where it’s meant to be.
When I finally took hold of just being content growing into the abundance of His Grace every day, all else began to fall into place. “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33)
Through this time, many have persevered beside me to help me through my battle of me. I thank God for each person. All have been - and still are - a blessing to me.
AND NOW! It is my turn, as a sister in the faith, as a Life Breakthrough coach, as a child of God to reach out and help someone else: If you find yourself stuck and have no clue how to even begin to journey forward, don’t lose hope. There IS a way through this. I am here to journey with you.
Blessings upon you dear one and glory to God!
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
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