Sometimes we forget with every new beginning - something has to end. I was in a marriage that was neither healthy nor productive for me and my daughters. The time came when I had to decide what was best for all involved. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, and the decision didn’t come overnight but after years of living in a marriage tainted with emotional and verbal abuse that led to memories of a lifetime filled with more of the same. Many hearts were at stake. My daughters and I moved out to begin rebuilding our lives.
When I stepped into that role of single mom, it was bittersweet. Many blessings came my way: a house, a workable car, a job and a supply of food to help get me back on track. I was physically free from the heartache and the burdens from my past. Yet - I wasn't free in my spirit. I was feeling the weight of knowing it was up to me to keep it all intact, flowing and growing. It was up to me and me alone to create a home for my daughters. If I didn’t take care of my daughters, who would?
Very few understood why I couldn’t embrace the new beginning for the blessing that it truly was.
Time was moving forward, yet there I was, unable to move forward with it. What or who was holding me back? Eventually, I learned that I was holding me back. I was still focusing on my past. I wanted to slip back into the pockets of the good times and simply dismiss the unhealthy mounds of muck around them. I was still trying to make sense of it all instead of choosing to forgive and to let the past go completely and make progress beyond it. When I opened my eyes to the truth of how important it was for me to work my way through the unsettling questions, knowing many questions would go unanswered, I decided to accept truth and find a way out of that ditch and into the heart of life and start living again. I knew I couldn’t do it alone. I prayed. I prayed for one simple thing – freedom.
From that moment forward, God orchestrated the way for me so I was able to choose freedom. He brought people into my life who would celebrate with me the joy of forward thinking and forward living. He brought circumstances into my life which would produce growth, strength and character. He brought new vision, new goals, new opportunity. He brought me into His Word deeper and His Word deeper into me. He brought Himself into me. He replaced the bad with the good, the unhealthy with the sustaining. He replaced my heart of sorrow with a heart of joy. My life was dredged out from the old to begin again with the new. My eyes were open to see hope is always with me, always in front of me yet never in the memory of those negative things behind me that have already passed.
I was finally able to experience and process faith-filled forward thinking without falling back into that old pattern of negative thinking, negative dwelling. My words, my actions, my heart was beating a healthy tune …finally. And now, my daughters and I together embrace the blessing of each new day as it comes in our home built on hope in God and yes, love.
Can you identify? Do you have someone or something holding you back from experiencing your new beginning? Maybe that something is your past… maybe, dear one, that someone is you.
When God blesses you and ignites you with the sparks of a new season in your journey, there's no reason to restore the past. There’s no reason to look behind to see what or who you are running from. Lay it down and focus on the now and all that is calling you forward and welcome in the birth of a new beginning…
“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead” (Phil 3:13)
Blessings on you dear one, and glory to God!