Earlier this week I took my focus off His promise to sustain me as He reminds us in Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” All I saw in that time of weakness was my own situation, albeit I was worn, exhausted and in the first threads of depression. I was ready to permanently walk away from most of the blessings He provided me, including fellowship. In fear and with lack of trust, I stated, “I am leaving.”
Yet, Jesus responded that same night. He knocked at my heart’s door – from the inside – and spoke clearly with a great gentle peace-filled love. He said, “I am still here. I will never leave you. Don’t lose the seeds of hope and faith I planted in you, my child. Cherish both as both are bridges to my heart. Embrace that which I have given you. Embrace it in faith. I will be with you.” This peace followed me through the waking hours.
All of a sudden, my eyes were open to an amazing truth. What have I to fear or to worry about when He is with me? He in me and I in Him. This is unity. This is our source of strength that bears our burdens. Jesus allowed me to see the world around me through His eyes. I saw multitudes of people, both young and old beyond my own little world of me. I saw the heart of those seeking but not yet knowing something far greater than they could ever imagine – the hope only found in Him. We may see poverty, hunger, illness, desolation, homelessness and death. But Jesus - He sees hope revealed. He sees life. He sees His own Spirit. Again He reminded me that some don’t yet know this hope. He impressed in my heart, “I have called you, my child, to go and make disciples by being one. But you can’t do this alone. You know I am here with you always, but I have also given you one another. This is what it means to be part of my family. Love one another. But you have to want to be a part of this if you desire to share in my Glory.”
I had no adequate words but praise to only begin to imagine what He has spoken to my heart. Praise alone – all else in my spirit was silent…
Even into today, my heart is changing and grabbing hold of these beautiful waves of truth that continues to call me deeper unto Him. No words yet to adequately express it. This is my reality.
Yet, in the midst of God calling me forward, I have been relieved of my duties and assignments and my leadership position in the household of faith. This is also my reality. I learned the consequences of my words spoken in haste. And I receive that decision respectfully and with peace in my heart. Leadership has its standards. Accountability. Trustworthiness. Consistency. Responsibility. Maturity. I can’t say that I learned all this too late before I spoke. He opened my eyes to what I needed to learn at exactly the right moment. What I do with knowing this from this moment forward is what matters most. Follow His lead.
This day I am yet at a pivotal place – Where is He leading me? Where do I go from here? These questions no longer burden me but assure me that God is not finished with me yet. He has a plan for my future, and I am stepping toward it in every moment of now with Him leading me forward. Patience, trust, commitment and I will add … obedience. Oh yes, what an incredible week this has been. All glory to God! <3
Blessings dear one!